Sunday, November 26, 2006

Week 4 of the Jolie-Pitt Orphan Boatlift

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt continue their furious efforts to relocate and/or adopt as many impoverished orphans as possible before Madonna can get her nails into them. A spokeman I suddenly made up for this piece said that Madonna would not be detered from her efforts, and was sure she could find another poor, uneducated and grief-stricken family to take advantage of by adopting their child while promising it a trip to Euro Disney.

I too was an impoverished orphan rescued by a kind benefactor, and when I say kind benefactor I mean raving maniac. The flies were still fresh on my mother when the General snatched me up and soon I knew the wheel of pain and what is best in life is to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

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